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I was late starting. I'd got up at six,
was checked into a dharamshala in Parasnath by eight, on my way up
the mountain by nine; but that was still late. Some people start at
five, just as the sky begins to lighten a little before sunrise;
others start at four, even three-thirty.
Breakfast was a packet of biscuits and
orange juice. Then up the street between white marble and red
sandstone temples, dhabas selling samosas and shops selling walking
sticks and toeless, heel-less socks, to a place where a gate opened
on to the forest and a steeper slope.
That's the way you start your
pilgrimage. Others were still going up; two naked Digamber Jains,
burnt brown as conkers by the sun, passed me, one walking and
carrying a huge peacock feather fan, the other sitting in a litter
slung between two bearers who kept time with their sticks tapping on
the path, tick, tick, tick.
(He was frowning furiously. I don't
know what it is about Jains; some are very charming people, but
there's one in ten who looks at the world from behind a scowl. I
noticed most of the dholi-borne were scowling, though some weren't –
one resplendent gentleman in white asked me 'How are you enjoying?'
and smiled to show that he,
at least, was enjoying – while the walkers seemed happier.)
It was still cool
morning, slightly misty, the path shaded by tall trees. The first
three kilometres went quickly. I'd already climbed the little hill
I'd seen from the village. Ahead, the path kept going, winding,
corkscrewing back on itself, climbing.
Either side,
teahouses. Perhaps that's too dignified a name for them; they're just
rough shacks made of untrimmed branches, black plastic sheet,
leftover oil tins and woven plastic rice sacks, whatever was spare at
the time. Sometimes there's one at a bend in the track, or a scatter
of them where the path descends to cross a ravine. Not all will be
open; but flat-topped mud walls, or huge rough planks, polished and
cracked and sagging with age, offer the chance of a rest, with or
without chai, tea, mineral water, or juice.
The sun ascends the
sky fast in India; by ten it's almost directly overhead. The day
heated up; as the trees grew sparser, higher up the slopes, sweat
started to sting my eyes. The gradient was relentless; deep enough to
test the hamstrings but not deep enough for real climbing, and with a
camber that had me staggering sideways as I my legs tired.
Still the hills
were misty; the views suggestive but blurred. High up, I'd caught
sight of the temples; but I seemed to be between mountain peaks –
to the left, one white spire topped a mountain; to the right, another
spire; and another, further ahead. Among the confusion of smaller
temples, though, one dominated the rest; it seemed so high I'd never
make it.
An Indian lady
passing on her way down had already warned me; "You need to
start back by two o'clock. Three hours you need to get down the
mountain, even quick quick. Three or four hours." We chatted for
a little while before she moved on, and as she left she shouted back
at me: "Remember – two o'clock."
Now it was getting
towards two, and that white spire seemed as far above me as ever.
Tears came to my eyes and I thought well, let's at least get the
crying over with, and found a little corner of a wall where I could
sob quietly for a couple of minutes without anyone noticing.
A couple of minutes
later I met a lovely family from the US – sister, brother, auntie,
and Dad, who had flown over specifically for the pilgrimage day; the
older members of the family in litters, the younger pair walking,
brother resplendent in white and gold, but barefoot – "so Dad
can't say young people have it too easy these days," he said,
without rancour. I've forgotten their names, but not the
encouragement they gave me. Without that, I doubt I'd have reached
the top. I chatted with the girl – just moved to San Francisco
after years on the east coast, and loving it.
"You know you
can get a massage afterwards?" she said.
I wondered if this
was the kind of massage I was always being offered by dubious looking
Nepali men I bumped into.
"No, the
dharamshalas offer it as part of the service. Ladies get a lady masseur, men get a man, really helps you recover."
(When I got back to
the dharamshala a lady did in fact offer me massage, but I was simply
too tired to take up the offer.)
I missed out the
penultimate shrine – I wasn't following the map, had in fact missed
out two of the routes that loop off the main climb to visit other
hilltops. I was beginning to see, by now, how the paths were laid out
below; connecting each foothill, each subsidiary peak. This isn't a
simple up-there-and-back-again pilgrimage like climbing Everest; it's
a whole sacred landscape, a gradual and graduated progress. (I
regret, now, I didn't stay a few more days and do it again, the
proper way.)
Slowly, painfully,
stopping every hundred yards or so for a quick breather, I grappled
with the way. At last, I was at the bottom of the tiled stairs that
led the final fifty yards steeply up to the temple. A banister to
cling to, at last. Shoes off; the tiles cool on my feet, even though
the sun had been beating down on them for hours. And into the shrine;
surprisingly simple, surprisingly dark, surprisingly empty.
At last, from here,
I could see the mountain spread out below. Heat haze hid the Bihari
plains, but there were the five great peaks, temple-topped, linked by
white meanders and wriggles of path, and below that the wooded
foothills, misty and dark. The shrine where I'd met that family
fifteen minutes ago seemed miles below, tiny; the furthest shrines so
far that it seemed impossible I'd passed them the same day. It was a
little like looking down on the horseshoe of the Tayside Munros from
Ben Lawers, but it seemed higher; the temples, perhaps, make
everything seem further away just by giving it a scale by which you
can judge.
India isn't blessed
with many mountains, outside the Himalayas. The Ganges basin is flat,
wretchedly, interminably flat, except where rivers have carved their
way through the layers of soil, or where little fists and nuggets of
rock thrust up out of the interminably flat plain. But no real
mountains. And yet here, at Parasnath, there's a 1,000 metre mountain
bursting out of the level. No wonder it's held to be sacred.
The way down was
much easier, which isn't always the case. I went swinging along,
followed by two inquisitive dogs who stayed with me most of the way
to the bottom. (A glass of sugar cane juice just below the summit had
restored my optimism, if not my knees, which continued to groan and
hiss and complain.) I chatted to a couple of Delhi girls; one on her
fourth pilgrimage here.
"And you
know," she said, "some people do it eleven times."
"In their
lives?"
"No, they stay
here two weeks and climb the mountain every day for eleven days."
Horrible thought.
(I did climb again the next day, but only as far as the first
temples, just 3 km in, and even then it was hard enough.)
Then there was the
noisy great group of pilgrims who decided to take the steep, rocky,
dusty short cut rather than the easy curve of the path. I was going
easily now, in big swinging strides, and reached the bottom of the
slide before they did.
"Short cut!"
I yelled. They laughed. We were all in good humour now, just one or
two kilometres from home and a hot shower and food and bed.
When I got back,
though, I'd lost my appetite. I couldn't find anything that wasn't
fried - samosas, puris, pakoras – and my stomach writhed at the
thought. In the end I grabbed a couple of samosas and had my friend
the juice man (for some reason, I always manage to make friends with
a juice man) package up the flesh from a green coconut after I drank
the milk. I slept a bit first, dragging an extra mattress on to the
bed in the dharamshala; about ten, I woke up, ate the pastry off the
samosas and most of the coconut, and went back to sleep.
I ended thoroughly
worn out, mentally and physically. A wreck. I'd lost my appetite
completely – could just about dare to think of melon sorbet or
elderflower cordial, certainly not eat puri subji for breakfast; I
wouldn't find my appetite again till three days later, in Allahabad
Station, I found some dahi wada (dumplings in yogurt with sweet-sour
tamarind sauce). My legs were tense, my muscles tight as bunches of
stretched elastic bands, and my back ached. I might have wondered why
I'd put myself through all this.
But I didn't. There
was something about Parasnath – the quiet of the forest, the chance
to meet Indian pilgrims on the path, the obvious
enjoyment of so many of them – that impressed me, in a way more
obvious tourist sights like the Taj Mahal haven't. Whether or not I
could say at the time that I was 'enjoying', it is a day I'll never
forget.
The meaning of a hill – a few
thoughts
There's
something qualitatively different, I think, in the way different
religions approach the hill. Its meaning shifts and changes.
Hindu temples
are often built on hills; the whole landscape of Orchha is dominated
by hill temples – the immense bulk of Chaterbuj temple, the smaller
hilltop temples just outside the town – and the temples of
Khajuraho are built on their own artificial mounds, up steep steps,
so that you have to crick your neck as you approach to see the
sanctuary doors.
But every Hindu
temple is its own hill, an imitation of Mount Meru, the hill at the
centre of the world-mandala. Its spire is a hill, its sanctuary is a
cave. It doesn't really matter if the temple is on a hill, an island,
on the flat; it is the world-mountain in little. And while a
pilgrimage may climb steps up to the temple, that's just the nature
of where the temple is; it doesn't seem to be part and parcel of the
experience.
The Jains on the
other hand seem to seek out hills; Parasnath, Girnar, Mount Abu.
There's something ascetic in the religion which demands the hard work
of climbing; and perhaps, too, something about purity that demands
the thinner, clearer mountain air.
Christianity has
its hill temples too. I remember as a child cross-country running up
Glastonbury Tor, with its tower on top the only remains of St
Michael's sanctuary, and the views across the Somerset Levels. It's
almost always St Michael who gets hilltop dedications – at Sacra
San Michele in Piedmont, at St Michael's Mount and Mont Saint Michel,
at the Gargano shrine (a cave below a hill) - Michael the archangel,
a fiery vision, a protector. Some people think he took over from an
autochthonous snake deity or sun god, the same god as Delphic Apollo.
But these hilltop shrines don't seem to fit a single pattern, and
there doesn't seem to be a single Christian practice of hilltop
pilgrimage; it's only Munroists, in Britain, who make the hills their
focus of worship. (If you think Munroism isn't a religion, you haven't met enough Munro-baggers.)
And there are also hill-top Calvaries, like the Calvary steps in Rijeka, built in the seventeenth century by the Jesuits; the recreation of the way to the Cross was part of Ignatian spiritual practice, that used meditation on the life of Christ as a way to salvation, and in Central and Eastern Europe such monuments use the physical effort of ascent to make the worshipper share the experience of Christ - they are not merely a passive device like the Stations of the Cross in a church. By following the ascent, the worshipper is brought into sympathy with Christ's sufferings; the hill becomes not a symbol but a re-creation of the original Calvary.
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